The Monday of Dude Weekend

Happy Labor Day

Many Americans think that this three day weekend was created in honor of work.  Actually, it was created in honor of the American labor movement.  You see, in the 19th century, union work stoppages were met with violence and killing.  Then Congress decided we could have a holiday saying the Labor movement was a-ok.

"Oh, I always wanted to be a Teamster; so lazy and surly."  

Now, in the 21st century, labor unions protect workers from unpaid overtime.  At least until the robots take our jobs.  Three cheers for labor day and the labor movement!

Dude Weekend Cooks: Root Beer Pork Loin

This dude was happy to cook for Mr. and Mrs. Brown in August.  I put together a recipe I enjoyed the prior weekend.  It was a big hit!

1 pork loin
1 can/bottle of root beer - I used IBC
1 white onion
BBQ sauce
Slider rolls

Slice the onion and place in slow cooker.  Next, pour the root beer.  Finally, drop the pork anchor.  Cook on lower in the slow cooker for about four hours, until it reaches 145 F.  Drain, reserving some of the cooking water.  Mix it up with a little bit of BBQ sauce - enough to just coat.  Leave more out as a condiment.  Viola!

NPR and Gary Clark Jr. - new album!!!

Homer loves the blues.  And because he loves the blues, he loves Gary Clark Jr.  His new album is being featured right now at NPR.  They're streaming the whole thing.  Take a listen dudes.

Charles Haley - big congrats

A special congratulations to five time Super Bowl winner Charles Haley for his induction into the NFL Hall of Fame.  Son of Campbell County, VA, he was a four year starter at James Madison University before playing for the 49ers and the Cowboys.  Charles, job well done.  We at Dude Weekend salute you!

Like a phoenix....FROM THE FLAMES!!!!!

Oh no you didn't.  Oh yes I did.

Its all about ME!

Last night Stan just settled down to some microwaved leftovers and a beer while wifey was watching TV. I defer to the wife on TV during the weekdays and she lets me have at it during the weekend. Since football season is coming up I'm not going to make a fuss of it.

Anyways, WE (t.v. for womyn!) and 20/20 was showing a special on "open adoptions," hosted by none other than Babwa Wawa. Horrible symmetry. For those of you too lazy to click through, an "open adoption" is where the birth mother stays in contact with the adoptive parents. This "special" is actually a reality show, where five couples compete (yes, compete) for a baby, soon to be squeezed out by a fecund 16 year old whose high school boyfriend plowed her in the backseat of his Chevy Cavalier. Obviously this is controversial, and true to form, critics and supporters both have their say about it. But this idiot carnival actually illustrates something far more insidious than a pervasive reality show culture where people feel the need to display their most private, intimate affairs.

The "winners" with their "prize." Nice eyebrows dad. Or should I say Mr. Smalley...

This show is an almost perfect indictment of our own insipid, narcissistic culture. Everything is about me. I am the measure of all things. I need a new pair of shoes, a car, a house, or even a baby. We take out subprime loans and amass credit card debt because we deserve to be instantly gratified. Even the title of the show plays into it... "A Child is Waiting"- waiting for YOU! Don't let them wait any longer! To wit- when one of the families got eliminated there were some tears, but they vanished when the producers jumped in with a consolation baby, dutifully snapped up by the couple.

But narcissism isn't really about instant gratification, its about you. These families want a kid, great. Adoption? Even better... a true selfless act in a sea of selfishness. But an "open adoption?" They want one because it sounds so progressive and they can brag to their upper-class friends about how they have "invested" the lower class birth mother in raising the child. And of course, there is a whole industry built up around providing these open adoptions so lets jump right in. Oh, but please make some room for the cameras.

Caught up in all the fuss about "God's blessing" and the treacly "miracle" of adoption bullshit is that noone really gives a fuck about the kid. Sure the parents understand the whole open adoption procedure, and have read enough on the internet and met with self described counselors so that they are experts. But picture this kid, puttering along fine until about his twelfth birthday or so when he suddenly realizes something is not quite right. Mindfuck time. Why did my birth mother (who he knows as "Pam") leave me? Why didn't she care enough about me to raise me as her son? What did I do wrong? And what the hell is my relationship supposed to be with these two adults who have raised me? Shit sandwich, son. Take a bite. It will be a minor miracle if this kid isn't a sociopath. This is why adoptive children don't know their birth parents until they are emotionally and mentally capable of understanding the dynamics. Even then, its gotta be wrenching as hell to experience all of the emotions.

But who cares about that? To the mom, and the adoptive family, and Babwa Wawa, its all love and happiness and unicorns farting rainbows. Why are they so cavalier? Because to them the child is not a person, with feelings, hes just a fashion accessory, an accoutrement. Hes the living equivalent of a wholefoods tote bag, advertising that whoever carries one is not only socially conscious and progressive, they are waaaaay fucking cooler than you. And both of you know it. In many ways its not really surprising that a child is the next step in this arms race, but deep down I'd like to think we can muster enough outrage to subject these monsters to their deserved amount of ridicule.

reunion tour

wasting time

We dudes have an email chain. Im cleaning out my inbox right now and passing alot of the stupid bullshit we talk about every day. Here are some of the best subject lines of the past 5 or so years:

campin', fishin', drinkin', lovin
man-plans
gym short cassanova
what is...things you do to your wife while shes sleeping!
lying to women
nice shorts, dick
ball shadow
India, you assholes
cowboys are my weakness (wtf???)
beard helmet
stinkeye monopoly
club med Karachi
How Isiah Thomas is like Robert Mugabe
Thrustday
Spritz!
Meat Pie Mums
Regurgitating Gordon Wood
Good Luck in the Woods
Sweatshops: Another Day, Another Dollar
Crucial Retard Demographic
Longitudes and Platitudes
Saturday Night's Alright
Dottie Pepper
Happy go-pukey
pillowsnake
dirtnuggistan
Werewolf is Boys Naked
paranoid mandroid

DC mutual masturbation society

Exhibit 10 billion of why I hate DC. Sitting through lunch with one of these self-important assholes would be more like a punishment than a prize. Pass the gin, Dougie.

ummm, what?

OK. My friend and I recently saw this license plate. I know the first thing I thought when I looked at it, he thought the same. So has everyone else to whom I have shown this picture. Now the question for you is, what does this mean? And if it means something other than what everyone thinks it must mean, well, why put it on your license plate in the first place?

The Soft Bigotry of Low Expectations

The current education system is a mess. We have 51 different systems of standards, 51 different systems of accountability, 51 different systems for collecting and analyzing data, we even have 51 different ways of certifying teachers. For 21st century society we are rooted in the 19th century...may as well make the secretary of education start using a horse to travel around the country.

The worst part of this problem is that everyone, regardless of their background or expertise, has an opinion on how to fix it. Perhaps the one area that President Bush could point to as a success in his administration is the passage and implementation of No Child Left Behind. For the first time the federal government stepped in and put teeth behind the movement to equalize the education of every child in America. Long have the feds pushed states to implement standards and curriculum for all subjects and grade levels, however states have dragged their feet. It got to the point that for us to be serious about changing the system a system of rewards and punishments needed to be instituted. Now there are a lot of things wrong with the law and unfortunately the President cannot hang his hat on the implementation because certain folks in the administration screwed things up (see Reading First). But the basic goals are right and if you don't start somewhere then when/where do you start?

One of the biggest criticisms of the law centers on the requirement that all students be tested in reading, math, and science in grades 3-8 and once in high school. The results of the reading and math scores are used to gauge whether schools and districts are adequately educating all of their students. Surprise! Not all schools are doing a good job! As a result we have folks blaming everything from the funding levels to the tests to George Bush for their problems. On this last point identify the two older gentlemen in the background of this picture and get back to me on Bush and the Republicans being at fault for the writing and passage of NCLB.
So, how do we fix the problem? We can start by not putting the blame for failing schools on others! Teachers, principals, superintendents, teacher prep programs, etc need to look in the mirror and decide what they are in control of. The students are not the problem in this equation. It is the adults-worrying more about their job security than educating children-that are holding us back. NCLB is not the problem in America's classrooms. The problems are unprepared teachers, under-funded facilities, culture wars, poor research quality, etc. The next incarnation of NCLB needs to do a better job of addressing these issues but for now local districts and states need to make more of an investment in the classroom and not hide behind federal law.

welcome, dimwits- part II.

Its on now. Looks like someone kicked over the garbage can where the flat earthers and other idiots coexist peacefully alongside the pizza crusts, beer cans, tissues, and used condoms. Now they're spilling out across the pavement and boy are they pissed! Must be something serious...

LIKE THIS!


Maybe you don't see. Well look closer. closer. OMFG RACHAEL RAY IS WEARING A KEFFIYEH!!!!! SHE IS A JIHADIST!!!!!

Oh man this is one train of logic where its just too good to pull the brake lever. Here's a story for you. If the ur-idiot is wearing one, and ceteris paribus she is a jihadist, so are most members of the U.S. special forces who have operated in Afghanistan. If they're jihadists, then we're fucked. In the words of Turkish, proper fucked.


This freedom-loathing meme has even found its way into toys! Idiot brigade, mount up! You've a jihad to do!

hollywood, stfu

Everyone hold your applause. Like MacArthur's promise at Corregidor I return to this bitch. And true to form I'm going to blog about politics, but not about the presidential race. Soon you will get the Orlando Magic offseason preview/draft prospectus but right now I'm going to make some dipshit Hollywood types bite the curb.

One of my biggest pet peeves is someone who jams a political message down your throat from a position where they have no business doing this. I could digress into a long post on this subject a la the Vocation Lectures, but I wont. Thank me later. And though in my experience its mainly liberals who do this (think of your college professors), conservatives do it too. Its basically a false pretenses argument- you have to go to class to learn about history, but your professor takes the opportunity to give a captive audience their political views. More egregious is the entertainment industry. You sit down to watch a movie, and you have to put up with a caricatured, stilted view of reality that reflects the political and ideological predilections of its creator(s).

At bottom this is about vanity- people become so convinced of their own importance (because they make good movies) that they feel the need to use this newfound authority to "speak out." To take a particularly pitiful example, think of Robert Redford. The man knows his way around a film. But when he moves over into the producer or director's chair because hes got some societal or political ill he wants to address, very quickly he finds out that the audience generally doesn't share his view of the world. This is America, we want to see car crashes, shoot-outs, explosions, tits, and shiny things (not necessarily in that order). We dont want to have to sit through two hours of hectoring and brow-beating by some narcissistic, solipsistic ass. Fuck.

Which brings me to what started this whole bitch session. Last night I watched The Andromeda Strain on A&E. Not that one, this one. I was pumped because dudes generally like movies about infections, but man was this one bad. The production values and all were ok, not great but ok. The CGI was shit, which was surprising for a project produced by Ridley Scott. There is also a painfully obvious 28 Days Later rip off, but you will have to sit through this mess to see that one. On the good side, one guy cuts his own head off with a chainsaw which was pretty rad.

But worst of all, the creators were so far up their own asses that they didnt see what a joke their project was becoming. They were so intent on creating a false (not to mention insultingly stupid) dichotomy between liberals=good/conservatives=bad that they fucked up a very promising project. Look. You've got an organism that kills within seconds. Its bad enough. You dont need to puff it up with bullshit subplots about government malfeasance, enviromental degredation and destruction, and corporate 'ner do welling. The novel was so good because everything political was ultra subtle and very ambiguous. In this miniseries, it was about as subtle as kick to the tailbone.

In the first half an hour they trotted out these predictable and trite cliches:

1. A Republican Administration is in charge. Why bother with actually doing any of the heavy lifting of writing, character development, etc... when you can just use your sure shorthand for incompetence and evil?

2. The sinister defense secretary is a conscious mix of Rumsfeld and Cheney. The perfect villian willing to do everything necessary to protect Andromeda, even lie to the President. There are scattered references to other biological disasters, e.g. "you remember Houston, don't you?" that apparently occurred under his stewardship. Thanks for spelling that out. We now know that he is a win-at-all-costs, bottom line type of guy with extreme, unchecked power and no conscience.

3. The NSA is recording everyone's phone conversations, tracking people down, and executing them. The idea of a rouge intelligence agency secretly controlling everything? Well, at least no one can say you're not original.

4. The President is currently trying to drill for minerals near undersea vents over the objections of environmentalists. Also, the company that is doing the drilling has some financial relationship with the president. I don't remember the exact name of the company (it was on screen for about 3 seconds) but i do remember it rhymed with Halliburton. Seriously.

5. The microbiology team assembled to combat the virus. In the book, it was all white men. OK, it was 1969, perhaps thats a little dated, if reflective of the time. But in 2007 the team is comfortably multicultural/multiracial/gender inclusive- a Hispanic man, a white woman, an Asian man, a black woman, and a gay white man (which actually is an interesting riff on the Odd Man Hypothesis). It looked like a goddamn Volkswagen commercial.

Keep in mind, all this occurred in the FIRST HALF HOUR of a four-hour miniseries. As it goes on you can see some more. Look, someone has to be the bad guy and, given how they've run the country into the ground over the past 8 years it might as well be the Republicans. But having this constantly and crudely shoved down your throat really ruins what could have been a really interesting remake.

The price is wrong, bitch.

So the Post today has an article about former White House Press Secretary Scott McLellan's recently released memoirs that lambaste Bush for manipulating the public to justify an unnecessary war in Iraq. I'm going to skip the "no shit, Sherlock" part of the blog (since this is kind of like a weather man telling me rain is wet) and go off on a tangent about people treating their so-called moral high ground as a stock that you sell when the price is highest.

So McLellan supposedly observes and mentally registers all of these perverse political machinations that the Bush administration underwent to justify the White House's war and cover their asses over the Valerie Plame debaucle. But he doesn't say or do shit about it while he is in the institution; he keeps his mouth shut (which, ironically, seems to be the best skill of a White House Press Secretary). He gets his cred, retires in a teary-eyed ceremony on the South Lawn, and becomes a civilian again. Then the tide turns and criticisms of the administration are no longer just left wing rhetoric but a widespread discontent that reaches across the aisles of the Capitol. And low and behold, look who has a memoir talking about how sly and manipulative the Bush administration really is.

I'm not saying McLellan could have singlehandedly whistleblown all of the bullshit that was going on. I understand that hindsight is 20/20, and that as Press Secretary you're in a delicate position to criticize. But if you just sit on these observations until the time is right to make a buck and look like a guy who wasn't part of the problem, you're pretty much a smelly sack of shit. If you didn't think this was important enough to act on at the time it was happening, why do you suddenly feel the need to write memoirs that exposes everything now? Because you've made the tough but correct decision of revealing the truth? Bullshit, because you can cash in on it.

As much as I respect the man, Alan Greenspan did the same thing this last year when he released The Age of Turbulence and handed Bush's ass to him on how his fiscal conservatism was anything but. Chairman of the Fed is widely known to be the most powerful man in the world; something tells me Greenspan could have made a stronger play than sitting on his wrinkled old hands until the time came to retire and he needed some juicy material for his new book. I think Colin Powell, to a lesser extent, did the same thing. And anybody who has read "Confessions of An Economic Hitman" (sidestepping for a second the argument about its veracity) will see the same thing; a guy who spent an entire successful career harming poor nations in the name of development who manages to keep at it until he's made enough cash, at which point he turns his "lifelong moral dilemma" into a bestseller and goes to sleep on a bed of cash.

So in conclusion.........man, fuck that.

$4 Oil. Go, go, go!

I didn't used to be a cynic. I had a roommate once who said he "hated people," but I couldn't believe it. How could he think that?

Fast forward ten years to the dregs of my late twenties. I have become a grumpy old man. Which brings us to my new favorite sport: rooting for the price of gas to hit $4.

Maybe there's a sort of bandwagon phenomenon here -- if everyone knows that one team is going to win, why not join? A gallon of gas is going to hit $4 whether I like it or not -- might as well root it on.

Now this might not be as funny if Helen and I didn't have too much money, or had long commutes, or two cars. We have one car that we don't drive that often. So while I notice the price of oil -- it used to take $19 to fill 'er up, now it takes $36 -- it doesn't really affect me. It's a pizza. No biggie.

But I love to watch people freak out about the price of oil. Most of those freaking out don't need to worry about anything -- the real people in a crunch are figuring out solutions: drive less, second job, no vacation. That sucks, no doubt.

All I'm saying is, we can dread the future, or we can embrace it. When they talk of Homer and $4 gas, they'll say, "He finally loved Big Brother."

Obama: Christian.

Maybe it's the Muslim-rumor emails. Maybe it's the speeches. But no other Democrat could put out a mailer like this without getting laughed at. In fact, it'd be hard for a Republican to put something this overt out.

With Barack, it just seems so natural...

Vatican: Keep the Faith in Aliens

My faith is so open-minded! What an awesome statement.

dudes on a plane

So Stan spent yesterday evening on a plane returning from a wedding in Florida. As you may know, there has been some pretty rough weather in the area. And last night we had to fly right through it. It was especially fun given the 44 oz. of beer I drank in the airport bar watching the last few holes of the Player's Championship.

But this time was a little hairier than most. Descending through the clouds and rain at about 5,000 feet a bolt of lightning struck the plane. Everything flashed red then there was a huge boom immediately following. It was startling, but not that scary really. You're flying a gigantic tube of metal through the middle of a thunderstorm. Its probably going to get hit by lighting, and you can expect that the designers foresaw this and made accommodations. I will panic if I hear "Folks, this is your Captain speaking. Look, uhm, light 'em up, 'cause we're going down, okay. I got a carton of Camels non-filters, I'll see you on the ground. Take it easy."

But some of Stan's fellow passengers promptly lost their shit. One lady immediately yelled out "FIRE!" (wtf?) A few others screamed, and the lady next to me was breathing like Rosie O'Donnell after the 100 yard dash. Then when we got on the ground everyone was thanking god we made it out alive.

Dude Movie Reviews: Iron Man

Helen and I saw Iron Man last night. It was awesome. Really awesome. I would even venture to say the best Marvel Comics movie to date. Better than X-Men 2. Instead of the Spider-Man paradigm (let's have whiny teenagers argue) it revolves around the main character being awesome all the time...mixed in with conflicts over the root of his awesomeness. Another key point to its success is having Jon Faveau as its director...there's definitely a bit of Swingers in there -- which could have turned out obnoxiously, but it weaves in perfectly. Highly recommended.

We also saw The Forbidden Kingdom in the theater yesterday...decent; worth seeing if you happen upon it.

Also, per last night's previews, Infected fans might want to keep their eye on The Andromeda Strain coming out on television later this month...

Bloggers vs MSM

So, I'm catching up on events of the world from the past couple of weeks and came across the Costas Now segment with Buzz Bissinger and Will Leitch. Let me begin by saying that Bissinger is one of my favorite writers...Friday Night Lights is one of the most brilliant sports books I have ever read, but in this situation I am completely turned off by him. From the very beginning you can feel the tension on the set (it does not help that Costas hates blogs as well)...his body language and facial expressions give off an absolute disdain for the person sitting next to him, and it is not Braylon Edwards--speaking of Edwards who did he end up on this segment. Why not get an athlete for actually blogs and get a view point that straddles both view points?

This debate between blogs and MSM, especially in sports, is completely fruitless. They are two completely different beasts. Blogs are not a replacement for the news I get from ESPN, WaPo, or SI...it is supplement. Just like Andrew Sullivan and Daily Kos don't replace the NewsHour or NY Times. Why all of the hostility? To keep pointing to the fringe blogs (such as this one) as why blogs are awful is wrong on a couple of levels. 1) No one reads this blog outside of 7 people, so if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound?; 2) we are simply putting out our opinions, which we are allowed to do, and if no one wants to read it (which they don't) then they won't read it (hence a readership of 7); 3) you are minimizing the great writing that happens on other blogs such as Deadspin and DC Sport Bog; 4) you are doing an even greater disservice to the profession of sports writing by playing the schoolyard bully role.

So Buzz, chill out! Everything will be okay. Take comfort in the fact that the market for great sports writing is not going anywhere. You are not the last of a dying breed...I promise.

One more note...I thought Leitch did a great job considering this is about the same as going on O'Reilly, seriously Bussinger and Costas were completely dicks.

UPDATE: If you can't find the humor in KSK does that mean you don't have a sense of humor? Probably not, but it begs the question of whether you are taking yourself, and sports, too seriously.

Just so we are clear

I'm am winning the big, swing states that matter, uneducated whites who matter, and old women who matter.* That is why I'm still in this race.


*The majority of states don't matter, the popular vote doesn't matter, the number of delegates doesn't matter, energizing the democratic base of young people and blacks doesn't matter, etc.

Policy over Politics

Enough said...

two severely broken cankles

so Hillary, you like symbolism? So I guess if the filly in the derby breaks down and has to be put out of her misery after losing to Big Brown, then that means...

The Infected and Finals

While on the plane last night I was trying to think of a good way to describe the overwhelmed feeling that I have at the moment trying to get through finals and work and other life commitments. Basically I have one more week and then it will be all over but next Friday afternoon feels like it is a year away.

Anyway, the first scenario that came into my head was a comparison between my current state and running from the infected. In an odd way it kind of makes sense. If you were actually running from the infected no doubt you would be scared shitless trying to think 5 steps ahead of a way to get out of the situation and the entire time you know that the end is near (good or bad). Obviously, I don't have the same literal feelings as if I were being chased by the infected but it is the closest I could think of...

Heard on Dude Weekend

"When I find myself laughing at How I Met Your Mother, I worry that I'm losing my cynical edge."

Stan Wolansky, 2007

The world, that understandable and lawful world, was slipping away.

File this one under good in theory... Ron Paul compounds. "The goal of Paulville.org it [sic] to establish gated communities containing 100% Ron Paul supporters and or people that live by the ideals of freedom and liberty."

How long until this becomes the adult version of Lord of the Flies?

"Oh shit, help! my house is on fire!"
"Sorry Stan, you decided not to pay the fire department tax."

via triumph of bullshit

Dude Movie Reviews: No Country

Here's a new exciting stream that could mimic the popularity of my last stream, Dude Dining. I finally saw No Country For Old Men this weekend. I have to say, I didn't really enjoy watching it. Kind of gory. But, I didn't hate the ending like everyone told me I would.

But the more distance that grows between me and that Netflix envelope, the more I start to like it. I start to think about the complexity of the three characters and how they interact and what they represent.

So really I just don't know what to think. Now aren't you happy you spent time reading this post?

Draft Recap

Because no one else seems to give a shit about writing on this blog, let me give some post-draft thoughts on the Jags now that the dust has settled. By the way- the Jacksonville Times-Union absolutely sucks when it comes to covering the Jags. Seriously. I bet no other hometown paper does worse.

FIRST ROUND

The Jags traded their first round pick (#26), both third-round picks (#71 and #89) and their fourth round pick (#125) to go to #8 overall, where they selected Florida defensive end Derrick Harvey.

I'm not completely sold on this pick. Harvey is a very good defensive end, and can rush the passer, but he was not worth the eighth pick. Look at it this way- if the Jags could have traded to get Jason Taylor, who could be counted on to give them a better '08 and '09 season- Taylor or Harvey? No contest there, plus the Jags could have held on to their third and fourth round picks.

As a counterpoint, the invaluable (but obviously biased) Jaguars page at Scout.com actually has a pretty interesting analysis arguing that the Jaguars made out like bandits with this trade, based on the points system teams use to evaluate trades. They also make a fairly good case that beyond #8 was actually where Harvey might go.

SECOND ROUND

The Jags traded picks with Tampa Bay to move up and get Auburn defensive end Quentin Groves with the 52nd overall pick. Groves is a pass-rushing machine, though he has a lingering foot injury and reportedly some motivational problems. This is more of a high risk-high reward type of pick, and I am fine with it especially since the Jags essentially backed up their first round pick with this one. One of the two will likely work out. Interestingly, the MVN website picked Groves to go to the Jags at their original #26 pick in their mock draft.

FIFTH ROUND

USC Linebacker Thomas Williams. A little home cooking here as Jags coach/ porn enthusiast Jack Del Rio also played linebacker at USC. But Williams is a good pick in the fifth round. He was hidden behind some real talent in the USC linebacking corps so he did not see much playing time, but perhaps with a few seasons of coaching he could make an impact. Could also see some action on special teams.

South Florida CB Trae Williams. Another good pickup. Much of the attention rightly goes to his teammate CB Mike Jenkins, but Williams has shown some consistent ball-hawk abilities (16 career interceptions) and is perfect for the Jags, who need some help in the defensive backfield. Williams projects as playing in a nickel or dime package. With the Jags starters at cornerback being the very good Rashean Mathis and the serviceable, newly-acquired Drayton Florence (who Stan thinks he played against in high school, seriously), and the rangy Reggie Nelson perhaps it wont be so easy for laserrocketarm to carve up the Jags for the next few years.

SEVENTH ROUND

USC running back Chauncey Washington. Honestly there is not much you could hope for in the seventh round, but I love this pick. Not only does it play right into my strategy of drafting running backs late, but if he gets his head right Washington seems like the type of player who could eventually make an impact. The Jags are a good fit for him- Fred Taylor is getting up there, and Maurice Jones Drew really cannot be an every-down back. Washington has the size and strength to be a primary back (if it ever gets to that point), and will be competitive with the Jags other backups and could get a roster spot. I seem to remember Mel Kiper arguing on Sportscenter that Washington was the most underrated player in the draft, for what its worth.

UNDRAFTED FREE AGENTS

Of note here is QB Paul Smith, who might make the team as a scout team/ 3rd QB; CB Brian Witherspoon who reportedly (video) posted a 4.16 40 time, though it was a little slower in his pro day workout (can't teach speed!); and WR Clyde Edwards who stands a good shot at making the team because the Jags wideouts generally suck.

OVERALL

There is something to be said about the Jags knowing what they need, primarily pass rushing from the ends and secondarily help in the defensive backfield, and then going out and doing it. The number of picks they gave up to get Harvey does hurt, because the Jags have always been good at finding guys in later rounds who can make the team. However, because of that very fact there really aren't that many roster spots where someone is guaranteed to fill in immediately. Jags GM James "Shack" Harris said as much when he told Scout.com "With our roster, we're not sure they [third-round picks] could make the team." Given that, the Jags did a good job of filling their immediate needs, then cherry-picking players in the latest round who they thought could possibly compete for a spot.

Of course we don't like to think this way, but there might be some marketing sentiment here as well. Harvey played at nearby UF, and the Jags have been active in drafting UF players in the past. Keeping this going might help put some butts in the seats and boost Jacksonville's chronically bad turnout. A little of the same with Groves as well- Auburn is close to Jacksonville, not to mention in the SEC.

Here's what people who do this for a living thought

Sports Illustrated:

• Dr. Z (who has made a career out of getting shit wrong) thinks the Jags overreached.
• Tony Pauline thinks the Jags overreached for Harvey but got a steal with Groves in the second round.
• Michael Lombardi thinks the Jags closed the gap on the Colts
• Peter King also seems pleased with the Jags draft, but is sad nobody drafted Brett Favre :(
  

ESPN:

• Draft guru Mel Kiper gives the Jags a C-, noting that they should have traded for Jason Taylor. Hmmm...I wonder where he got that idea.
• Todd McShay is also down (video) on the Jags

Others:

• Pete Prisco at the underrated CBS Sportsline believes the Jags did the right thing to trade up for Harvey, but reached on Groves for an overall B-. The exact opposite of Pauline at SI.
• Larry Weisman at USA Today gives the Jags a B, although he cant find a bad word to say about the choices. Imagine that. USA Today being uncontroversial.
  
• Brendan Sonnone at MVN is a little disappointed in the Jag's day 1 selections.
• Clifton Brown at The Sporting News gives the Jags a C, noting that both Harvey and Groves had consistency issues in college.
• Jason Cole at Yahoo Sports gives the Jags a C+, also noting that Jason Taylor would have been a better option.
• Vinnie Iver at The Sporting News also gives a good review of every round here.

Reactions from Jacksonville fans here and here

Draft Time! Go Jags Go!

*why does his head look so small?

No more about the running backs, but I reserve the right to throw a tantrum when some idiot GM gets caught up in the hype and throws a wad of millions at Darren McFadden. This is about the Jacksonville Jaguars, my dear team.

This year the Jags pick at #26, near the bottom of the first round. They need to shore up their defensive front. This is only more pressing after the offseason trade of Marcus Stroud, who along with John Henderson formed the most intimidating defensive tackle duo in football. But it doesnt take Emmitt Smith to tell you the Jag's problem is with the pass rush. Anyone who watched the AFC semis last year versus the Pats remembers Brady hanging a pedestrian %92.9 completion percentage (thats probably higher than the Jag's handoff completion percentage) on the board and walking off the field without a speck of dirt on his uniform. Playing in a division with laserrocketarm further underscores the need to bolster the pass rush.

On that note, some have speculated about the Jags trying to get Clemson DE Philip Merling who is talented, but somewhat of a question mark as he is coming off hernia surgery as well as being more of a project than an immediately ready-to-contribute guy. Other names have floated around, including a few half-hearted suggestions that the Jags try and move up to grab some of the premier guys like Chris Long or Vernon Gholston. Thats not gonna happen.

Instead, the Jags should trade for Miami DE and six-time pro bowler (and 2006 defensive player of the year) Jason Taylor. Not only are the Dolphins shopping Taylor for a reported first round pick, the Dolphins also want to move up into the end of the first round to get QB Chad Henne, the college teammate of their first overall selection OT Jake Long. Henne will be there at the Jags #26 pick. Its true Taylor is getting up there, but he can still give the Jags 3 good years. Not to mention he gets to play on a contender and mentor the exciting crop of youngsters the Jags are developing on the defensive side of the ball. The Jags have always drafted well in the later rounds, especially when they go defense, so odds are they will be able to get some good prospects later in the draft, maybe Marcus Dixon from Hampton (good choice especially with his college teammate Justin Durant coming into his second year with the Jags).

Over to you, Del Rio. Pull up the mesh shorts, stop watching Bubble Butt Bonanza, and get this done!

clinton is nixon...nixon is clinton?

The Horror. I agree with Marty Peretz...guhhhh...a shower and apricot scrub may not even be enough to purge this grimy feeling.

There definitely are paralells here, between Clinton and Nixon. Both are deeply unhappy, secretive, defensive, and vengeful. They are dour people with really distasteful traits. Yet at the same time are always looking for affirmation and a chance to prove to people that once you get to know them, they are really nice people. Witness Hillary instructing some of her canvassers: "Oh, just knock on the door and say, ‘She is really nice,’ ” Mrs. Clinton said. “Or you could say, ‘She is not as bad as you think.’" The problem, of course, is that their character flaws usually intrude on anyone actually wanting to invest the time and energy to get to know them.

Hillary, please go away

Part I

I used to think that the "dream" ticket of Barack/Hillary was never going to happen. I used to give it 2% odds. But the longer this goes on, the more it creeps up. I'd say now we're at a solid 10%. Still unlikely, but too likely to make me nervous.

Part II

Hillary yesterday threatened to obliterate Iran if they attack Israel. Obviously, we would retaliate if that happened. But, as Helen of Troy studiously pointed out to me this morning (and correct me if I'm wrong INTA bloggers), the Middle East is largely about perception. And as I've learned from reading some Friedman, humiliation is one of the biggest things that keeps all the bad things in the world going. I think her saying that, and everything about her campaign, is very 20th century. There is only one candidate with the possibly to make this not just another four years.

Three words: British Andy reunion

Ignorance is Bliss...

It is with a joyful heart I inform you that instead of watching the Obama/Clinton debate last night I watched Top Chef (x2) and The Real World-Hollywood (Premiere). After glancing over a few blogs/news reports this morning it is apparent that I made an excellent choice. At this point debates are completely silly. We know their positions on the major issues (at least to the extent they are willing to talk about them). More debates only open the door for personal attacks and straight up ridiculous statements. Oh yeah, having a former Clinton staffer (someone who owes having his current job to Bill and Hillary) as the "moderator" for a debate is absurd.

On more important topics. The Real World is fucking awful, but for some reason I still get drawn in. Greg just makes me feel sad. What the fuck makes a 20 year old kid act that way? As for the other roommates it is just more of the same. This house is definitely going to be a hook-up house. No doubt.

On the Top Chef front it is about time for Ryan to go although I think Mark and Nicki have tobe booted soon as well. The judges have hated Ryan since the beginning when he didn't know how to make chicken picata (WTF?). Nicki can only cook pasta and Mark looks like he is doing lines of coke every night. Also, it was great to see Gail Sayers and William Perry on the show last night...they should have brought those guys in as special guest judges. That would have been hilarious!

One complaint about last nights show...if you are going to do a beer challenge then at least use come fucking good beer. Are you kidding me? Michelob is the only person willing to sponsor the show. Fuck, at the least you could have gotten Sam Adams or if you wanted to push the envelope get Dogfish Head or some other kickass craft beer.

Coca-Cola Chili Recipe

In the second installment of the dude dining guide, I am going to weigh in with my own recipe for chili. The sweetness of the coke contrasts very well with the smokiness of the dried ancho chilies.

In a crock pot set on low, add:

1 can Coke
1 can tomato paste
1 can kidney beans (drained)
1 can black beans (drained)
2 diced jalapeno peppers (change to habaneros or aji peppers if you like it more spicy)
3 medium tomatoes, sliced in large chunks
1 small sweet onion (vidalia), diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
1 T red pepper flakes
1 T chili powder
1/2 tsp. cumin

fill small saucepan with 2.5 cups of water and 1 T olive oil and add:

3 large ancho chilies destemmed and de-seeded
1/2 clove of garlic

allow to boil for 10 minutes. Add contents of saucepan (including water) to food processor or blender and blend until smooth. Add to crock pot.

After 4 hours or so cooking on low, add 1/4 bag of sweet white frozen corn and about 1 pound of cooked and diced sausage. Spicy chorizo sausages seem to give the best results, but hot italian style works also. cook on high for 30 minutes, then serve.

A good traditional side is cornbread. When I make it, I use 2 boxes of the Jiffy mix, add a little less milk than the recipe calls for, but add in a small can of creamed corn and a couple of tablespoons of brown sugar, then just bake as directed.

I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don’t know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Real Foreign Affairs Experience

Its been a few weeks since dudeweekend took Barack Obama into their tender mouths so I guess we're overdue. As loyal readers of dudeweekend (all one of them) will know, we have relentlessly hated on the pantsuited monster for all manner of her bullshit. But the one issue that really sticks in my crawl is this whole recent line of attack that she has more foreign policy experience than Obama owing to her time as first lady. Anyone with half a brain knows this is ridiculous even without Hillary lying to them about snipers and ducking for cover. But lately Barack Obama put his finger on another really important point. He said

"When Senator Clinton brags 'I've met leaders from eighty countries'--I know what those trips are like! I've been on them. You go from the airport to the embassy. There's a group of children who do native dance. You meet with the CIA station chief and the embassy and they give you a briefing. You go take a tour of a plant that [with] the assistance of USAID has started something. And then--you go."

This is exactly right. It reminds me of a dipshit I see at meetings all around DC of assorted Very Important People. He is always shooting his mouth off about "the situation" in Iraq or somesuch, always bragging about what he knows, who he knows, and how he knows it, how his information is much better than yours, because you dont have the "sources" he does. Honest to god, I was at a meeting where he challenged a quite senior defense department official and insinuated that the official was being played because Mr. Dipshit's "sources" in that country had told him something different. This type of crap is why I hate DC.

This type of stinking asshole is actually pretty common in DC. Its the guy who jets into a country, takes a limo past the stinking slums and narrow alleyways, checks in to his 5 star hotel, goes downstairs to the conference center and attends a seminar with assorted government bigwigs (all of whom speak English and wear nice suits), then on the way back up to his hotel room he stops and asks the bellhop "so what do you think about X?" And then the douchebag gets in his limo, goes to the airport, and goes home, where he tells everyone who will listen what the mood on "the street" in said country is.

Which brings me back to Barry O. If youve read his autobiography (and really, there is no excuse if you havent) you'll know that Obama has actually spent time in a foreign country. Not 3 nights in a five star hotel with a post-conference dinner at the attached Ruth's Chris, but living in a sprawling Indonesian suburb, a dusty African capital, or a teeming South Asian metropolis. This is real knowledge of foreign affairs, tangible knowledge of how people think and act in different contexts, based on rationales sunk deep into cultural and social networks. This is the polar opposite of Hillary Clinton and her "knowledge" of foreign affairs, filled as it is with obsequious foreign officials, scheming businessmen, and slick spokesmen, people who have more in common with her philandering husband than they do with their countrymen who work at the fucking noodle stand down the road.

Its this superficial, wishful thinking type of "knowledge" that leads people to argue that "we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators" in Iraq or that Hamas can't be popularly elected because, hey, Mahmoud Abbas and all of his cronies speak English and drink whiskey, and we like them, so obviously the Palestinian people should also. With a few exceptions, this is the knowledge of the Bush Administration. Its the knowledge of McCain and Clinton as well.

DUDE WEEKEND

A camel doesn't change its stripes.

New York Times FAIL

Let's say youre the "Paper of Record," the "Grey Lady," the fabled New York Times. WTF happened where this egregious error slipped past all the editors and proofreaders and into the bolded headline in an above-the-fold feature story. FAIL.

Cloggers McDoggers

If you skipped the Cherry Blossom Festival this past weekend, you missed the Loudoun County Cloggers at the Jefferson Memorial.

WWBJD?

Is this what we have to look forward to when we open the sports page from now on? I have to admit my complete surprise to see ESPN and various newspapers pick up this "story." Is there something wrong with a 24 year old starting quarterback to be hanging out with a bunch of hot 20 year college students? Is there any guy in America that doesn't wish he was in the hot tub over the weekend?

People are being a little naive to think that our athletes are going home every night, taking their dog for a walk, and going to bed. Let's stop pretending that these people are saints and be glad that Leinart wasn't "making it rain" and getting people killed.

I guess we can thank the Facebook and Myspace generation for this joy. Can't wait to see what the future holds...

Dude Endorsement

I got a new computer w/o Microsoft Office - but Google Docs is saving the day. Not only does it do all the basic stuff I need, it's portable. Holy smokes.

Word!

My cell phone has a text message function where if I enter a letter and scroll through it, it will attempt to guess the full word I am trying to type by entering in what it perceives as words that I commonly use (so if I typed an "h" it might fill in "hello"). However, the following list of words that consistently come up when I scroll through all the letters has me a bit concerned about the words I use the most often. Here, apparently, are all of the most popular words I use in text messages:

Handjob

Jew-town

Library

Mustache

Schindlers

Rerun

Shits

Tobacco

Year!

Zit

Moment of your time, sir?

Scene: large, nondescript convention center. A couple strolls through the aisles, lazily checking out the merchandise.

Salesboy: "Afternoon sir! Where are you off to so fast? No rush here! Why don't you step on over here for a minute. I have something you MUST see."

Man: "Excuse me?"

Salesboy: "You know why I singled you out? No huh? Well its because I could tell that youre the type of guy who loves a bargain! Am I right? Eh? Eh? See you're smiling!"

Man: "Well I'm not really looking right now...wait...Shouldnt you be in school? How old are you?"

Salesboy: "Hey, we're not here to talk about me, lets talk about you. My age is not important. Ill tell you what is though, its this fine piece of machinery right here. Let me show you something. Step on over here. Take this. Boy howdy, check that out. You look like you were born with that in your hand!"

Man: "Well, this looks nice, but I'm worried about the craftmanship"

Salesboy turns to the man's wife, flashes toothy insincere grin: "Quite a sharp husband you got here ma'am, bet its hard to get anything by on him!"

/winks at man

"So let me get a handle on this my friend- I can call you friend, right? You gotta believe your own eyes. My job is to help you get a bargain, nothing else. Ill tell you what, the craftsmanship on this piece is totally %110 professional grade. We stand behind everything we sell. I've been selling these to men like yourself for years and never had an unsatisfied..."

Man: "Wait. Years? How old are you?"

Salesboy: "8 going on 35 my friend. But let me tell you in- all my years of sales I've never seen someone whose more of a natural holding that thing as you. Whattya say I go ahead and ring you up. I'll even give you a %5 discount I only give to my friends."

/ winks at wife

Wife (whispering to Husband): "Honey this kid is creeping me out, let's go"

/ Man drops item on the table, quickly begins to walk away with wife

Salesboy: "Where you headed friend? I'll tell you what, %10! And I'll throw in this carrying case too! Its real nice! Well hey, I know you need some time to think about it. Ill be here until Tuesday. If you come back, remember to ask for Charlie!"

/turns back to throng of people

"Excuse me sir, you dropped something! Oh, no sir I'm just joshin' ya. But while you're over here Ive got something you need to see..."

Stan Wolansky on the clock

People will know that few things infuriate me more that the idiotic idea that it is worth taking a running back early in the NFL Draft. And definitely fuck trading up to get one. Mark my words, if I were a GM, I would NEVER take a running back in the first two rounds of the draft. EVER. If Jesus Christ came back to earth wearing #22 and won four straight Heismans (of course Jesus would stay for all 4 years), I wouldn't even look his way until the 3rd round. And then I'd listen to anyone who wanted to swap picks to come up and get him. I'm looking for a linebacker.

You want to talk about how to draft in the first couple rounds? Take a look at the The Jets in 2006. Franchise Left Tackle D'Brickashaw Ferguson and franchise Center Nick Mangold? Stellar. Kellen Clemens in Rd. 2 was also worth a flyer because Nick Mangold's sister is stronger than starter Chad Pennington. Thats how to fucking draft.

Anyways whats my reasoning on the running back position? Part of it is my visceral hate of Reggie Bush, perhaps the most overhyped, underperforming running back ever to play in the NFL. Remember how every sportscaster and analyst got their panties in a twist because the Texans passed on Bush to take Mario Williams? They dont know shit. Williams absolutely exploded last year, with 14 sacks. The only thing about Reggie Bush that exploded was his left knee.

But moving from the emotional to the strategic, the gap between "great" running backs and "very good" running backs is vanishingly small. More times than not, the gap has nothing to do with skill, its just hype, or because X running back measured 3 inches shorter than Y running back. Fuck that. What matters more is the quality of your O-line (see Broncos, Denver). Also, no other position gets beat up and injured as much as a running back. You cant really count on continued production because the risk of a season or career-ending injury is too great. But lets go to the tape. Here are the starting running backs for all 32 teams (some pairs for teams that do it by platoon), and their draft positions:

NFC

Cowboys- Marion Barber/ Julius Jones Round: 4 (4.5 YPC) and Round 2 (3.9 YPC)
Giants- Brandon Jacobs/Ahmad Bradshaw Round: 4 (4.6 YPC) and Round: 7 (8.3 YPC)
Eagles- Brian Westbrook Round: 3 (4.7 YPC)
Redskins- Clinton Portis Round: 2 (4.5 YPC)
Cardinals- Edgerrin James Round: 1 (4.1 YPC)
49'ers- Frank Gore Round: 3 (4.9 YPC)
Seahawks- Shaun Alexander Round: 1 (4.3 YPC)
Rams- Steven Jackson Round: 1 (4.4 YPC)
Bears- Cedric Benson Round: 1 (3.8 YPC)
Lions- Tatum Bell Round: 2 (4.8 YPC)
Packers- Ryan Grant UNDRAFTED (5.1 YPC)
Vikings- Adrian Peterson/Chester Taylor Round: 1 (5.6 YPC) and Round: 6 (4.4 YPC)
Falcons- Warrick Dunn Round: 1 (4.1 YPC)
Panthers- DeAngelo Williams Round: 1 (4.6 YPC)
Saints- Deuce McAllister/ Reggie Bush Round: 1 (4.3 YPC) and Round: 1 (3.7 YPC)
Bucs- Earnest Graham UNDRAFTED (4.1 YPC)

AFC

Bills- Marshawn Lynch Round: 1 (4.0 YPC)
Dolphins- Ronnie Brown Round:1 (4.4 YPC)
Patriots- Lawrence Maroney Round: 1 (4.4 YPC)
Jets- Thomas Jones Round:1 (3.9 YPC)
Broncos- Travis Henry Round:2 (4.1 YPC)
Chiefs-Larry Johnson Round:1 (4.5 YPC)
Raiders- Justin Fargas Round:3 (4.2 YPC)
Chargers- LaDanian Tomlinson Round:1 (4.5 YPC)
Ravens- Willis McGahee Round:1 (4.1 YPC)
Bengals-Rudi Johnson Round: 4 (4.0 YPC)
Browns- Jamal Lewis Round:1 (4.3 YPC)
Steelers- Willie Parker UNDRAFTED (4.4 YPC)
Colts- Joseph Addai Round: 1 (4.4 YPC)
Texans- Ahman Green Round: 3 (4.5 YPC)
Titans- Lendale White Round: 2 (3.7 YPC)
Jaguars- Fred Taylor Round:1 (4.7 YPC)/ Maurice Jones Drew Round: 2 (5.1 YPC)

Besides Reggie Bush sucking it up with a 3.7 YPC average (lowest among first rounders, yay!), what else is important? Well here are the YPC averages grouped by what round they were drafted in:

Round 1: 4.32 YPC (19)
Round 2: 4.35 YPC (6)
Round 3: 4.57 YPC (4)
Round 4: 4.36 YPC (3)
Round 6: 4.4 YPC (1)
Round 7: 8.3 YPC (1)
Undrafted: 4.53 YPC (3)

As you can see, the worst rounds for running backs were the 1st and 2nd, while the best were 3rd and Undrafted (I feel safe arguing that Ahmad Bradshaw is probably not going to rush for 8.3 YPG next year). The metric is debateable, but I think career YPC is probably a pretty damn accurate measure of overall effectiveness.

"Ah," you might say, "you didn't take into account touchdowns, or longevity, or % of picks who 'bust'!" This is true, but I also didn't take into account salaries. Average salary for a first round pick? In 2007 it was about $5-6 million per year. Closer to the top pick, the more expensive it gets. JaMarcus Russell, the no. 1 pick last year, signed a 6 year, $61 million contract. The aforementioned Reggie Bush? 6 year, $52.5 million, not including the illegal bennies from an agent while at USC. For someone whose career so far has mostly involved getting cockroached and hiding behind huge asses (the New Orleans offensive line, not Kim Kardashian), its good work if you can get it. On the other side, the Packers last year paid Ryan Grant $310,000. The Giants signed their Superbowl RB to a 4 year contract at $1.7 million. Lets say you're a GM and you've got $52.5 million to pick up a RB. You want to sign Reggie Bush, (who sucks in case you forgot), or 169 undrafted RB's in the hope that 1 might be able to get you more than 3.7 YPC? I know what I would take.

I will forecast this right now. Darren McFadden will be drafted high, paid an obscene amount of money and maybe, like Purple Jesus, have a great game or two and lodge a few jaw-dropping plays. But at the end of the season, another running back dug out of the second day will put up similar, if not better, stats for a hell of a lot less money.

God's Matchup...

Okay, I realize that the Post columnists are obvious homers for Georgetown. Hell, it is nice to know that they have enough full time columnists left to call homers. Anyway, I think Boswell and Steinberg need to rethink their bitching about Davidson having home court advantage yesterday. Seriously, are you going to tell me that a #10, whose tallest player is 6-8, from a school of 2000 students total (my high school was bigger!) was at a disadvantage playing in a arena roughly halfway from Charlotte and DC (Charlotte to Raleigh is 3 hours; DC to Raleigh is 4 hours). Come on!! Let's be honest for a second. Georgetown lost that game. End of story. Write all you want about the refs, the crowd, whatever...They lost a game that they should have won especially when they were up 17 points in the second half. Let me say that again, you were up 17 points in the second half and you have one of the best defenses in the country.

With only your team to blame of the loss it is kind of weak to use the crowd argument. I would bet that the crowd would have reacted the same way in any arena not called the Verizon Center. It is called pulling for the underdog. People love that shit...in fact they have made entire movies based on the idea.

Will Davidson be the next George Mason (or better yet, Gonzaga)? Probably not...but Friday, and maybe Sunday, will be fun to watch. And as much credit as Curry gets (and he deserves every bit of it), I think it is obvious that Richardson is really driving that train. Without him this team would have lost yesterday.

Random Rules: DW Edition

For those not familiar with it, The Onion AV Club has a feature called "Random Rules" where they get a musician or celebrity to set their mp3 players on random, play a bunch of tracks, and comment on whatever pops up. It's an interesting insight into their artistry, so in an attempt to feign both insight and artistry I propose we all do the same. I'll start:

Ratt's Random Rules:

1. Cursive: There's A Coldest Day In Every Year (from the album "The Difference Between Houses and Homes)

I adore Cursive's last three albums; they were all concept albums that didn't get up their own ass in pretense and actually presented some impressive allegories and symbolism. And they managed to reinvent their style through each album with the introduction of a cellist or horn section. But Cursive has been around for a lot longer than those three albums; they have many many more that dip back into the emo days, and quite frankly their music from that era is bland and atonal. This album is actually a B-Sides collection, so I don't expect much more, and the track pretty much lives up to my expectations. Hey, Tim, it's called an electronic tuner. They're not expensive. I purged my iPod of all the older Cursive stuff, but perhaps left this B-Sides on in the hopes of finding a gem. Looks doubtful.

2. The Early November: Session 07 (From the triple album: Mother, Mechanic, the Path)

The Early November is an anthemic, punkish, emo-ish, indie-ish group. They have some really fantastic songs, but decided to push the boundaries of their sound and scene by releasing a triple album. I've never heard anyone do this, least of all a pop-rock group, and it's obvious why. There is an absurd amount of filler and crap on this album. If you cut it out, this would be a very decent single album, but instead we're left with b-sides, cutting room floor tracks, and spoken word tracks (like this one) that aim for artsy and land squarely at "retarded".

It's interesting to see what happens when an artist tries to push the envelope and force progression into their sound. It can be incredibly successful (see: Radiohead) or embarassingly pathetic, as seen with groups like Angels and Airwaves. They're a band fronted by former Blink-182 guitarist Tom Delonge, who incorrectly thought he had what it took to go from dick-and-fart pop punk to epic and transcendent stadium art-rock. Boo, you fail.

3. Dr. Dog - The Way The Lazy Do (from the album "We All Belong)

These guys are great. An old coworker of mine grew up with them and got me into them. Their sound is more or less a lo-fi Beatles/Brian Wilson sound with a bluesy/Motown jangle to it. It's a familiar and catchy but expressed in an original way. Every time I listen to it I wonder why I don't do so more often.

4. They Might Be Giants - Pencil Rain (from the album "Lincoln")

Great song by a great band off one of their best albums. TMBG's career speaks for itself, so I won't bother. Besides, they're really one of those bands you love or hate, so no point in me expounding on their brilliance.

5. Chisel - The Guns of Meridian Hill (from the Fort Reno Benefit CD)

I got this CD for $1 in Roanoke at a used CD store; it has an old Dismemberment Plan song I haven't heard anywhere else, plus some interesting tracks from other DC bands. Chisel is fronted by the now-very-popular Ted Leo; his signature sound isn't completely developed but it's still there in spades. Neat song for any Ted Leo fan, and a nice reminder that he had his beginnings in DC.

6. Wolfmother - Colossal (from the album "Wolfmother")

A lot of bands like to compare themselves to the great classic groups like Zeppelin and Sabbath. Most of the time those bands end up being shit stains like Puddle of Mudd or Creed. Wolfmother is one of the few bands that can honestly lay credit to such inspiration but have the good taste to never do so. This track is so Sabbath, so bombastic, and will shake the teeth right out of your head.

7. James Carter - Po Lazarus

I think this is James Carter. I think this is from the "O Brother Where Art Thou" soundtrack. I'm not really sure. Having an 80 gig iPod means having piles of stuff you didn't even know you had. This certainly has the "O Brother" slave-anthem sound, so it's pretty good. I really need to clean up my music collection...

8. The Most Serene Republic - Sherry and Her Butterfly Net (from the album "Population")

These guys are on Arts and Crafts with all my favorites (BSS, Stars, etc.). They have sort of a Broken Social Scene sound, but more frenetic with faster drums and more piano. This is one of my favorite songs by them. They're pretty fantastic and highly recommended.

9. The Toasters - Go Girl (from the album "Thrill Me Up")

It's well documented that I had a heavy obsession with ska in high school and college. The addiction has passed, though I still love it. I keep a small collection of my favorites on my iPod. This album by the Toasters is one of the first ska records I bought; it's absolutely fantastic and reminds me of high school in a good way. They, like Madness, are a great ska band.

10. The Beatles - Wait (from the album "Rubber Soul")

I have a confession to make; there are LOADS of Beatles songs I don't know. There are probably only a couple albums I've sat down and listened to start to finish. My big introduction to the White Album was mainly through Danger Mouse's remix of the Grey Album with Jay Z. I of course love the Beatles and rightly recognize their brilliance and impact on music. But with the exception of Sargent Pepper and Abbey Road, I don't have much of an album commitment for them. So as much as I adore other Rubber Soul songs like Ticket To Ride, Nowhere Man, and Norwegian Wood (my favorite Beatles song), I've never even heard this one. I have a lot of Beatles stuff on my iPod I've never heard. It's on my to-do list. The list just happens to be many gigs long...