Scene: large, nondescript convention center. A couple strolls through the aisles, lazily checking out the merchandise.
Salesboy: "Afternoon sir! Where are you off to so fast? No rush here! Why don't you step on over here for a minute. I have something you MUST see."
Man: "Excuse me?"
Salesboy: "You know why I singled you out? No huh? Well its because I could tell that youre the type of guy who loves a bargain! Am I right? Eh? Eh? See you're smiling!"
Man: "Well I'm not really looking right now...wait...Shouldnt you be in school? How old are you?"
Salesboy: "Hey, we're not here to talk about me, lets talk about you. My age is not important. Ill tell you what is though, its this fine piece of machinery right here. Let me show you something. Step on over here. Take this. Boy howdy, check that out. You look like you were born with that in your hand!"
Man: "Well, this looks nice, but I'm worried about the craftmanship"
Salesboy turns to the man's wife, flashes toothy insincere grin: "Quite a sharp husband you got here ma'am, bet its hard to get anything by on him!"
/winks at man
"So let me get a handle on this my friend- I can call you friend, right? You gotta believe your own eyes. My job is to help you get a bargain, nothing else. Ill tell you what, the craftsmanship on this piece is totally %110 professional grade. We stand behind everything we sell. I've been selling these to men like yourself for years and never had an unsatisfied..."
Man: "Wait. Years? How old are you?"
Salesboy: "8 going on 35 my friend. But let me tell you in- all my years of sales I've never seen someone whose more of a natural holding that thing as you. Whattya say I go ahead and ring you up. I'll even give you a %5 discount I only give to my friends."
/ winks at wife
Wife (whispering to Husband): "Honey this kid is creeping me out, let's go"
/ Man drops item on the table, quickly begins to walk away with wife
Salesboy: "Where you headed friend? I'll tell you what, %10! And I'll throw in this carrying case too! Its real nice! Well hey, I know you need some time to think about it. Ill be here until Tuesday. If you come back, remember to ask for Charlie!"
/turns back to throng of people
"Excuse me sir, you dropped something! Oh, no sir I'm just joshin' ya. But while you're over here Ive got something you need to see..."
2 comments:
that kid at the golf show looked like a diminutive version of the PC vs. Mac guy...http://www.macdailynews.com/gfx/article_gfx/060925_hodgman.jpg
yeah, I wanted a little less professionally-dressed shrunken adult, but 10 minutes of searching turned up nothing. oh well. that little bastard was creepy though.
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