An Open Letter to the Person Taking a Picture of the Dupont Station Escalator:
Hi there, welcome to Washington D.C. This is a truly amazing city with breathtaking yet regal architecture, and more monuments than you can shake a stick at! I'm more than certain that you'll notice these incredibly picturesque visages, provided you can actually bring yourself to climb the escalator and reach the surface of our fair city. That's right, the escalator isn't just a cool-looking structure. Actually, it isn't even a cool-looking structure.
I have to say your fascination with escalators astounds me. Are you a converted Amish? Do you have a fetish for moving metal platforms? Chances are you're a tourist from a midwestern state; you people have malls so big they have fucking roller coasters in them, don't tell me you've never seen an escalator before...
But I digress. I implore you to actually use this contraption you find so fascinating so that you may get up to the street level and take pictures of all sorts of other objects (cigarette butts, manhole covers, trash cans) that manage to be a waste of film even for a modern camera that holds thousands of pictures.
An Open Letter To The Twat Who Won't Stand To The Right:
Stand to the right, twat.
An Open Letter To The Guy Who Asked If I Could Spare 10 Cents On The Metro Escalator:
No.
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