Hillary, please go away

Part I

I used to think that the "dream" ticket of Barack/Hillary was never going to happen. I used to give it 2% odds. But the longer this goes on, the more it creeps up. I'd say now we're at a solid 10%. Still unlikely, but too likely to make me nervous.

Part II

Hillary yesterday threatened to obliterate Iran if they attack Israel. Obviously, we would retaliate if that happened. But, as Helen of Troy studiously pointed out to me this morning (and correct me if I'm wrong INTA bloggers), the Middle East is largely about perception. And as I've learned from reading some Friedman, humiliation is one of the biggest things that keeps all the bad things in the world going. I think her saying that, and everything about her campaign, is very 20th century. There is only one candidate with the possibly to make this not just another four years.

Three words: British Andy reunion

Ignorance is Bliss...

It is with a joyful heart I inform you that instead of watching the Obama/Clinton debate last night I watched Top Chef (x2) and The Real World-Hollywood (Premiere). After glancing over a few blogs/news reports this morning it is apparent that I made an excellent choice. At this point debates are completely silly. We know their positions on the major issues (at least to the extent they are willing to talk about them). More debates only open the door for personal attacks and straight up ridiculous statements. Oh yeah, having a former Clinton staffer (someone who owes having his current job to Bill and Hillary) as the "moderator" for a debate is absurd.

On more important topics. The Real World is fucking awful, but for some reason I still get drawn in. Greg just makes me feel sad. What the fuck makes a 20 year old kid act that way? As for the other roommates it is just more of the same. This house is definitely going to be a hook-up house. No doubt.

On the Top Chef front it is about time for Ryan to go although I think Mark and Nicki have tobe booted soon as well. The judges have hated Ryan since the beginning when he didn't know how to make chicken picata (WTF?). Nicki can only cook pasta and Mark looks like he is doing lines of coke every night. Also, it was great to see Gail Sayers and William Perry on the show last night...they should have brought those guys in as special guest judges. That would have been hilarious!

One complaint about last nights show...if you are going to do a beer challenge then at least use come fucking good beer. Are you kidding me? Michelob is the only person willing to sponsor the show. Fuck, at the least you could have gotten Sam Adams or if you wanted to push the envelope get Dogfish Head or some other kickass craft beer.

Coca-Cola Chili Recipe

In the second installment of the dude dining guide, I am going to weigh in with my own recipe for chili. The sweetness of the coke contrasts very well with the smokiness of the dried ancho chilies.

In a crock pot set on low, add:

1 can Coke
1 can tomato paste
1 can kidney beans (drained)
1 can black beans (drained)
2 diced jalapeno peppers (change to habaneros or aji peppers if you like it more spicy)
3 medium tomatoes, sliced in large chunks
1 small sweet onion (vidalia), diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
1 T red pepper flakes
1 T chili powder
1/2 tsp. cumin

fill small saucepan with 2.5 cups of water and 1 T olive oil and add:

3 large ancho chilies destemmed and de-seeded
1/2 clove of garlic

allow to boil for 10 minutes. Add contents of saucepan (including water) to food processor or blender and blend until smooth. Add to crock pot.

After 4 hours or so cooking on low, add 1/4 bag of sweet white frozen corn and about 1 pound of cooked and diced sausage. Spicy chorizo sausages seem to give the best results, but hot italian style works also. cook on high for 30 minutes, then serve.

A good traditional side is cornbread. When I make it, I use 2 boxes of the Jiffy mix, add a little less milk than the recipe calls for, but add in a small can of creamed corn and a couple of tablespoons of brown sugar, then just bake as directed.

I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don’t know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Real Foreign Affairs Experience

Its been a few weeks since dudeweekend took Barack Obama into their tender mouths so I guess we're overdue. As loyal readers of dudeweekend (all one of them) will know, we have relentlessly hated on the pantsuited monster for all manner of her bullshit. But the one issue that really sticks in my crawl is this whole recent line of attack that she has more foreign policy experience than Obama owing to her time as first lady. Anyone with half a brain knows this is ridiculous even without Hillary lying to them about snipers and ducking for cover. But lately Barack Obama put his finger on another really important point. He said

"When Senator Clinton brags 'I've met leaders from eighty countries'--I know what those trips are like! I've been on them. You go from the airport to the embassy. There's a group of children who do native dance. You meet with the CIA station chief and the embassy and they give you a briefing. You go take a tour of a plant that [with] the assistance of USAID has started something. And then--you go."

This is exactly right. It reminds me of a dipshit I see at meetings all around DC of assorted Very Important People. He is always shooting his mouth off about "the situation" in Iraq or somesuch, always bragging about what he knows, who he knows, and how he knows it, how his information is much better than yours, because you dont have the "sources" he does. Honest to god, I was at a meeting where he challenged a quite senior defense department official and insinuated that the official was being played because Mr. Dipshit's "sources" in that country had told him something different. This type of crap is why I hate DC.

This type of stinking asshole is actually pretty common in DC. Its the guy who jets into a country, takes a limo past the stinking slums and narrow alleyways, checks in to his 5 star hotel, goes downstairs to the conference center and attends a seminar with assorted government bigwigs (all of whom speak English and wear nice suits), then on the way back up to his hotel room he stops and asks the bellhop "so what do you think about X?" And then the douchebag gets in his limo, goes to the airport, and goes home, where he tells everyone who will listen what the mood on "the street" in said country is.

Which brings me back to Barry O. If youve read his autobiography (and really, there is no excuse if you havent) you'll know that Obama has actually spent time in a foreign country. Not 3 nights in a five star hotel with a post-conference dinner at the attached Ruth's Chris, but living in a sprawling Indonesian suburb, a dusty African capital, or a teeming South Asian metropolis. This is real knowledge of foreign affairs, tangible knowledge of how people think and act in different contexts, based on rationales sunk deep into cultural and social networks. This is the polar opposite of Hillary Clinton and her "knowledge" of foreign affairs, filled as it is with obsequious foreign officials, scheming businessmen, and slick spokesmen, people who have more in common with her philandering husband than they do with their countrymen who work at the fucking noodle stand down the road.

Its this superficial, wishful thinking type of "knowledge" that leads people to argue that "we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators" in Iraq or that Hamas can't be popularly elected because, hey, Mahmoud Abbas and all of his cronies speak English and drink whiskey, and we like them, so obviously the Palestinian people should also. With a few exceptions, this is the knowledge of the Bush Administration. Its the knowledge of McCain and Clinton as well.

DUDE WEEKEND

A camel doesn't change its stripes.

New York Times FAIL

Let's say youre the "Paper of Record," the "Grey Lady," the fabled New York Times. WTF happened where this egregious error slipped past all the editors and proofreaders and into the bolded headline in an above-the-fold feature story. FAIL.

Cloggers McDoggers

If you skipped the Cherry Blossom Festival this past weekend, you missed the Loudoun County Cloggers at the Jefferson Memorial.

WWBJD?

Is this what we have to look forward to when we open the sports page from now on? I have to admit my complete surprise to see ESPN and various newspapers pick up this "story." Is there something wrong with a 24 year old starting quarterback to be hanging out with a bunch of hot 20 year college students? Is there any guy in America that doesn't wish he was in the hot tub over the weekend?

People are being a little naive to think that our athletes are going home every night, taking their dog for a walk, and going to bed. Let's stop pretending that these people are saints and be glad that Leinart wasn't "making it rain" and getting people killed.

I guess we can thank the Facebook and Myspace generation for this joy. Can't wait to see what the future holds...

Dude Endorsement

I got a new computer w/o Microsoft Office - but Google Docs is saving the day. Not only does it do all the basic stuff I need, it's portable. Holy smokes.

Word!

My cell phone has a text message function where if I enter a letter and scroll through it, it will attempt to guess the full word I am trying to type by entering in what it perceives as words that I commonly use (so if I typed an "h" it might fill in "hello"). However, the following list of words that consistently come up when I scroll through all the letters has me a bit concerned about the words I use the most often. Here, apparently, are all of the most popular words I use in text messages:

Handjob

Jew-town

Library

Mustache

Schindlers

Rerun

Shits

Tobacco

Year!

Zit

Moment of your time, sir?

Scene: large, nondescript convention center. A couple strolls through the aisles, lazily checking out the merchandise.

Salesboy: "Afternoon sir! Where are you off to so fast? No rush here! Why don't you step on over here for a minute. I have something you MUST see."

Man: "Excuse me?"

Salesboy: "You know why I singled you out? No huh? Well its because I could tell that youre the type of guy who loves a bargain! Am I right? Eh? Eh? See you're smiling!"

Man: "Well I'm not really looking right now...wait...Shouldnt you be in school? How old are you?"

Salesboy: "Hey, we're not here to talk about me, lets talk about you. My age is not important. Ill tell you what is though, its this fine piece of machinery right here. Let me show you something. Step on over here. Take this. Boy howdy, check that out. You look like you were born with that in your hand!"

Man: "Well, this looks nice, but I'm worried about the craftmanship"

Salesboy turns to the man's wife, flashes toothy insincere grin: "Quite a sharp husband you got here ma'am, bet its hard to get anything by on him!"

/winks at man

"So let me get a handle on this my friend- I can call you friend, right? You gotta believe your own eyes. My job is to help you get a bargain, nothing else. Ill tell you what, the craftsmanship on this piece is totally %110 professional grade. We stand behind everything we sell. I've been selling these to men like yourself for years and never had an unsatisfied..."

Man: "Wait. Years? How old are you?"

Salesboy: "8 going on 35 my friend. But let me tell you in- all my years of sales I've never seen someone whose more of a natural holding that thing as you. Whattya say I go ahead and ring you up. I'll even give you a %5 discount I only give to my friends."

/ winks at wife

Wife (whispering to Husband): "Honey this kid is creeping me out, let's go"

/ Man drops item on the table, quickly begins to walk away with wife

Salesboy: "Where you headed friend? I'll tell you what, %10! And I'll throw in this carrying case too! Its real nice! Well hey, I know you need some time to think about it. Ill be here until Tuesday. If you come back, remember to ask for Charlie!"

/turns back to throng of people

"Excuse me sir, you dropped something! Oh, no sir I'm just joshin' ya. But while you're over here Ive got something you need to see..."

Stan Wolansky on the clock

People will know that few things infuriate me more that the idiotic idea that it is worth taking a running back early in the NFL Draft. And definitely fuck trading up to get one. Mark my words, if I were a GM, I would NEVER take a running back in the first two rounds of the draft. EVER. If Jesus Christ came back to earth wearing #22 and won four straight Heismans (of course Jesus would stay for all 4 years), I wouldn't even look his way until the 3rd round. And then I'd listen to anyone who wanted to swap picks to come up and get him. I'm looking for a linebacker.

You want to talk about how to draft in the first couple rounds? Take a look at the The Jets in 2006. Franchise Left Tackle D'Brickashaw Ferguson and franchise Center Nick Mangold? Stellar. Kellen Clemens in Rd. 2 was also worth a flyer because Nick Mangold's sister is stronger than starter Chad Pennington. Thats how to fucking draft.

Anyways whats my reasoning on the running back position? Part of it is my visceral hate of Reggie Bush, perhaps the most overhyped, underperforming running back ever to play in the NFL. Remember how every sportscaster and analyst got their panties in a twist because the Texans passed on Bush to take Mario Williams? They dont know shit. Williams absolutely exploded last year, with 14 sacks. The only thing about Reggie Bush that exploded was his left knee.

But moving from the emotional to the strategic, the gap between "great" running backs and "very good" running backs is vanishingly small. More times than not, the gap has nothing to do with skill, its just hype, or because X running back measured 3 inches shorter than Y running back. Fuck that. What matters more is the quality of your O-line (see Broncos, Denver). Also, no other position gets beat up and injured as much as a running back. You cant really count on continued production because the risk of a season or career-ending injury is too great. But lets go to the tape. Here are the starting running backs for all 32 teams (some pairs for teams that do it by platoon), and their draft positions:

NFC

Cowboys- Marion Barber/ Julius Jones Round: 4 (4.5 YPC) and Round 2 (3.9 YPC)
Giants- Brandon Jacobs/Ahmad Bradshaw Round: 4 (4.6 YPC) and Round: 7 (8.3 YPC)
Eagles- Brian Westbrook Round: 3 (4.7 YPC)
Redskins- Clinton Portis Round: 2 (4.5 YPC)
Cardinals- Edgerrin James Round: 1 (4.1 YPC)
49'ers- Frank Gore Round: 3 (4.9 YPC)
Seahawks- Shaun Alexander Round: 1 (4.3 YPC)
Rams- Steven Jackson Round: 1 (4.4 YPC)
Bears- Cedric Benson Round: 1 (3.8 YPC)
Lions- Tatum Bell Round: 2 (4.8 YPC)
Packers- Ryan Grant UNDRAFTED (5.1 YPC)
Vikings- Adrian Peterson/Chester Taylor Round: 1 (5.6 YPC) and Round: 6 (4.4 YPC)
Falcons- Warrick Dunn Round: 1 (4.1 YPC)
Panthers- DeAngelo Williams Round: 1 (4.6 YPC)
Saints- Deuce McAllister/ Reggie Bush Round: 1 (4.3 YPC) and Round: 1 (3.7 YPC)
Bucs- Earnest Graham UNDRAFTED (4.1 YPC)

AFC

Bills- Marshawn Lynch Round: 1 (4.0 YPC)
Dolphins- Ronnie Brown Round:1 (4.4 YPC)
Patriots- Lawrence Maroney Round: 1 (4.4 YPC)
Jets- Thomas Jones Round:1 (3.9 YPC)
Broncos- Travis Henry Round:2 (4.1 YPC)
Chiefs-Larry Johnson Round:1 (4.5 YPC)
Raiders- Justin Fargas Round:3 (4.2 YPC)
Chargers- LaDanian Tomlinson Round:1 (4.5 YPC)
Ravens- Willis McGahee Round:1 (4.1 YPC)
Bengals-Rudi Johnson Round: 4 (4.0 YPC)
Browns- Jamal Lewis Round:1 (4.3 YPC)
Steelers- Willie Parker UNDRAFTED (4.4 YPC)
Colts- Joseph Addai Round: 1 (4.4 YPC)
Texans- Ahman Green Round: 3 (4.5 YPC)
Titans- Lendale White Round: 2 (3.7 YPC)
Jaguars- Fred Taylor Round:1 (4.7 YPC)/ Maurice Jones Drew Round: 2 (5.1 YPC)

Besides Reggie Bush sucking it up with a 3.7 YPC average (lowest among first rounders, yay!), what else is important? Well here are the YPC averages grouped by what round they were drafted in:

Round 1: 4.32 YPC (19)
Round 2: 4.35 YPC (6)
Round 3: 4.57 YPC (4)
Round 4: 4.36 YPC (3)
Round 6: 4.4 YPC (1)
Round 7: 8.3 YPC (1)
Undrafted: 4.53 YPC (3)

As you can see, the worst rounds for running backs were the 1st and 2nd, while the best were 3rd and Undrafted (I feel safe arguing that Ahmad Bradshaw is probably not going to rush for 8.3 YPG next year). The metric is debateable, but I think career YPC is probably a pretty damn accurate measure of overall effectiveness.

"Ah," you might say, "you didn't take into account touchdowns, or longevity, or % of picks who 'bust'!" This is true, but I also didn't take into account salaries. Average salary for a first round pick? In 2007 it was about $5-6 million per year. Closer to the top pick, the more expensive it gets. JaMarcus Russell, the no. 1 pick last year, signed a 6 year, $61 million contract. The aforementioned Reggie Bush? 6 year, $52.5 million, not including the illegal bennies from an agent while at USC. For someone whose career so far has mostly involved getting cockroached and hiding behind huge asses (the New Orleans offensive line, not Kim Kardashian), its good work if you can get it. On the other side, the Packers last year paid Ryan Grant $310,000. The Giants signed their Superbowl RB to a 4 year contract at $1.7 million. Lets say you're a GM and you've got $52.5 million to pick up a RB. You want to sign Reggie Bush, (who sucks in case you forgot), or 169 undrafted RB's in the hope that 1 might be able to get you more than 3.7 YPC? I know what I would take.

I will forecast this right now. Darren McFadden will be drafted high, paid an obscene amount of money and maybe, like Purple Jesus, have a great game or two and lodge a few jaw-dropping plays. But at the end of the season, another running back dug out of the second day will put up similar, if not better, stats for a hell of a lot less money.

God's Matchup...

Okay, I realize that the Post columnists are obvious homers for Georgetown. Hell, it is nice to know that they have enough full time columnists left to call homers. Anyway, I think Boswell and Steinberg need to rethink their bitching about Davidson having home court advantage yesterday. Seriously, are you going to tell me that a #10, whose tallest player is 6-8, from a school of 2000 students total (my high school was bigger!) was at a disadvantage playing in a arena roughly halfway from Charlotte and DC (Charlotte to Raleigh is 3 hours; DC to Raleigh is 4 hours). Come on!! Let's be honest for a second. Georgetown lost that game. End of story. Write all you want about the refs, the crowd, whatever...They lost a game that they should have won especially when they were up 17 points in the second half. Let me say that again, you were up 17 points in the second half and you have one of the best defenses in the country.

With only your team to blame of the loss it is kind of weak to use the crowd argument. I would bet that the crowd would have reacted the same way in any arena not called the Verizon Center. It is called pulling for the underdog. People love that shit...in fact they have made entire movies based on the idea.

Will Davidson be the next George Mason (or better yet, Gonzaga)? Probably not...but Friday, and maybe Sunday, will be fun to watch. And as much credit as Curry gets (and he deserves every bit of it), I think it is obvious that Richardson is really driving that train. Without him this team would have lost yesterday.

Random Rules: DW Edition

For those not familiar with it, The Onion AV Club has a feature called "Random Rules" where they get a musician or celebrity to set their mp3 players on random, play a bunch of tracks, and comment on whatever pops up. It's an interesting insight into their artistry, so in an attempt to feign both insight and artistry I propose we all do the same. I'll start:

Ratt's Random Rules:

1. Cursive: There's A Coldest Day In Every Year (from the album "The Difference Between Houses and Homes)

I adore Cursive's last three albums; they were all concept albums that didn't get up their own ass in pretense and actually presented some impressive allegories and symbolism. And they managed to reinvent their style through each album with the introduction of a cellist or horn section. But Cursive has been around for a lot longer than those three albums; they have many many more that dip back into the emo days, and quite frankly their music from that era is bland and atonal. This album is actually a B-Sides collection, so I don't expect much more, and the track pretty much lives up to my expectations. Hey, Tim, it's called an electronic tuner. They're not expensive. I purged my iPod of all the older Cursive stuff, but perhaps left this B-Sides on in the hopes of finding a gem. Looks doubtful.

2. The Early November: Session 07 (From the triple album: Mother, Mechanic, the Path)

The Early November is an anthemic, punkish, emo-ish, indie-ish group. They have some really fantastic songs, but decided to push the boundaries of their sound and scene by releasing a triple album. I've never heard anyone do this, least of all a pop-rock group, and it's obvious why. There is an absurd amount of filler and crap on this album. If you cut it out, this would be a very decent single album, but instead we're left with b-sides, cutting room floor tracks, and spoken word tracks (like this one) that aim for artsy and land squarely at "retarded".

It's interesting to see what happens when an artist tries to push the envelope and force progression into their sound. It can be incredibly successful (see: Radiohead) or embarassingly pathetic, as seen with groups like Angels and Airwaves. They're a band fronted by former Blink-182 guitarist Tom Delonge, who incorrectly thought he had what it took to go from dick-and-fart pop punk to epic and transcendent stadium art-rock. Boo, you fail.

3. Dr. Dog - The Way The Lazy Do (from the album "We All Belong)

These guys are great. An old coworker of mine grew up with them and got me into them. Their sound is more or less a lo-fi Beatles/Brian Wilson sound with a bluesy/Motown jangle to it. It's a familiar and catchy but expressed in an original way. Every time I listen to it I wonder why I don't do so more often.

4. They Might Be Giants - Pencil Rain (from the album "Lincoln")

Great song by a great band off one of their best albums. TMBG's career speaks for itself, so I won't bother. Besides, they're really one of those bands you love or hate, so no point in me expounding on their brilliance.

5. Chisel - The Guns of Meridian Hill (from the Fort Reno Benefit CD)

I got this CD for $1 in Roanoke at a used CD store; it has an old Dismemberment Plan song I haven't heard anywhere else, plus some interesting tracks from other DC bands. Chisel is fronted by the now-very-popular Ted Leo; his signature sound isn't completely developed but it's still there in spades. Neat song for any Ted Leo fan, and a nice reminder that he had his beginnings in DC.

6. Wolfmother - Colossal (from the album "Wolfmother")

A lot of bands like to compare themselves to the great classic groups like Zeppelin and Sabbath. Most of the time those bands end up being shit stains like Puddle of Mudd or Creed. Wolfmother is one of the few bands that can honestly lay credit to such inspiration but have the good taste to never do so. This track is so Sabbath, so bombastic, and will shake the teeth right out of your head.

7. James Carter - Po Lazarus

I think this is James Carter. I think this is from the "O Brother Where Art Thou" soundtrack. I'm not really sure. Having an 80 gig iPod means having piles of stuff you didn't even know you had. This certainly has the "O Brother" slave-anthem sound, so it's pretty good. I really need to clean up my music collection...

8. The Most Serene Republic - Sherry and Her Butterfly Net (from the album "Population")

These guys are on Arts and Crafts with all my favorites (BSS, Stars, etc.). They have sort of a Broken Social Scene sound, but more frenetic with faster drums and more piano. This is one of my favorite songs by them. They're pretty fantastic and highly recommended.

9. The Toasters - Go Girl (from the album "Thrill Me Up")

It's well documented that I had a heavy obsession with ska in high school and college. The addiction has passed, though I still love it. I keep a small collection of my favorites on my iPod. This album by the Toasters is one of the first ska records I bought; it's absolutely fantastic and reminds me of high school in a good way. They, like Madness, are a great ska band.

10. The Beatles - Wait (from the album "Rubber Soul")

I have a confession to make; there are LOADS of Beatles songs I don't know. There are probably only a couple albums I've sat down and listened to start to finish. My big introduction to the White Album was mainly through Danger Mouse's remix of the Grey Album with Jay Z. I of course love the Beatles and rightly recognize their brilliance and impact on music. But with the exception of Sargent Pepper and Abbey Road, I don't have much of an album commitment for them. So as much as I adore other Rubber Soul songs like Ticket To Ride, Nowhere Man, and Norwegian Wood (my favorite Beatles song), I've never even heard this one. I have a lot of Beatles stuff on my iPod I've never heard. It's on my to-do list. The list just happens to be many gigs long...

David Brooks Says: Chin Up

I don't know about you, but I love greatest hits cds. ESPECIALLY on the iPod. Nothing better than when forgotten single after forgotten single come blaring through your shelf system.

Similarly, I'd like to revisit perhaps my favorite column from my favorite center-right columnist. Great advice from 2006. The predecessor alliance of Dude Weekend, remember, originated the Crevice of Knowledge. The CK was also known as the Athens of the Mid-Atlantic in the early 21st century.

Also, via Wikipedia, here's a funny quote from Brooks' college days, talking about the sadly recently deceased William F. Buckley:

In the afternoons he is in the habit of going into crowded rooms and making everybody else feel inferior. The evenings are reserved for extended bouts of name-dropping.

Buckley thought it was so funny that he hired him (and later converted him to the Republican way).

Democracy Now

Anyone else see something wrong with individuals, committed to a particular candidate, footing the bill for an election?

Breakfast at Cici's

Here at Dude Weekend we love misery. That's why I'm proud to present Forbes Magazine's "America's Most Miserable Cities." Not to be confused with Kiplinger's Smart Cities, the Forbes list looks at unemployment, personal tax rates, commute times, weather, crime and Superfund sites. Biggest suprise: Charlotte, NC.

My only complaint about this list is that it only lists the top ten most miserable cities -- I prefer a depth of misery.

africa, still? yes, still.

This is not about current events in Africa. But after doing some browsing for a separate project, I came across a story on Liberia and its fighters (and by fighters I mean child soldiers/war criminals). I looked around a bit, and it turns out these guys have totally awesome names, which seem to consist of just stringing together the two or three most intimidating words they knew. It somewhat reminded me of a dog I met whose owners had allowed their young daughter to name it. She chose "Matilda Princess Volcano." Sweet. Here are some of the best of the Liberians, in descending order of rank:

General Butt Naked
General Peanut Butter
General War Boss
General War Boss III (logically I guess there is a War Boss II, but then again its Africa)
General Kill the Bitch
General Murder
General Killer
General Rambo
General Housebreaker
General No-mother-no-father
General Fuck-me-quick
General Share Blood
General Babykiller
Brigadier Bomb Blast
Colonel Action
Colonel Bloodshed
Colonel Cambodia
Commander Bullet (must be a navy man)
Major Cut Throat
Captain War Face
Captain Mission Impossible
Captain Backblast
Captain Cut Hands
Captain Bonus
Sergeant Burn House
Commando Around-the-world

Ladies got into the game too:

Queen Cut Hands (she was not the wife of Captain Cut Hands, apparently its a common name, like Smith or Jones)

Debate your favorites and add more in the comments!!!