Like a phoenix....FROM THE FLAMES!!!!!

Oh no you didn't.  Oh yes I did.

The world, that understandable and lawful world, was slipping away.

File this one under good in theory... Ron Paul compounds. "The goal of Paulville.org it [sic] to establish gated communities containing 100% Ron Paul supporters and or people that live by the ideals of freedom and liberty."

How long until this becomes the adult version of Lord of the Flies?

"Oh shit, help! my house is on fire!"
"Sorry Stan, you decided not to pay the fire department tax."

via triumph of bullshit

Coca-Cola Chili Recipe

In the second installment of the dude dining guide, I am going to weigh in with my own recipe for chili. The sweetness of the coke contrasts very well with the smokiness of the dried ancho chilies.

In a crock pot set on low, add:

1 can Coke
1 can tomato paste
1 can kidney beans (drained)
1 can black beans (drained)
2 diced jalapeno peppers (change to habaneros or aji peppers if you like it more spicy)
3 medium tomatoes, sliced in large chunks
1 small sweet onion (vidalia), diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
1 T red pepper flakes
1 T chili powder
1/2 tsp. cumin

fill small saucepan with 2.5 cups of water and 1 T olive oil and add:

3 large ancho chilies destemmed and de-seeded
1/2 clove of garlic

allow to boil for 10 minutes. Add contents of saucepan (including water) to food processor or blender and blend until smooth. Add to crock pot.

After 4 hours or so cooking on low, add 1/4 bag of sweet white frozen corn and about 1 pound of cooked and diced sausage. Spicy chorizo sausages seem to give the best results, but hot italian style works also. cook on high for 30 minutes, then serve.

A good traditional side is cornbread. When I make it, I use 2 boxes of the Jiffy mix, add a little less milk than the recipe calls for, but add in a small can of creamed corn and a couple of tablespoons of brown sugar, then just bake as directed.

Dude Dining

Time for a new segment on the ole blog: the Dude Weekend Dining Guide. Here we'll feature the latest cuisine of the various places we live and travel to. This first edition features China Star in Fairfax, VA, brought to us by Tyler Cowen's Ethnic Dining Guide. Implicit in Cowen's blog is that the best ethic food in the National Capital area resides in the suburbs, where most of the area's ethnic communities live (notable exception: DC Ethiopian food is the tops).

I had the Szechuan chili chicken which was tasty but really, really hot. I'm talking Indian American Cafe (Harrisonburg, VA) no. 3 or 4 hot. Crystal shrimp was unique and enjoyable; curry chicken highlighted the freshness of the ingredients.

Conclusion: worth the drive if you have car access and like spicy food.

Next week: Stan checks in from the cafés half a world away...

Washington, DC Kennel Club

for the first time in the history of the westminster kennel club a beagle won best in show. i love animals; I FUCKING LOVE THEM!!! the four cats i have lived with throughout my life (even the pooter queen herself, shadow, who is no longer with us, god rest her soul) and the pets of my friends and loved ones are just as important to me as many humans. sorry, bi-peds, but sometimes you all just suck. so, i get excited about the dog show every year.

why do i mention this? well, for one, i am actually excited about the 2008 presidential campaign, and this is the first time i have ever felt as such. i mention the dog show because historically i have been much more likely to vote in that contest than any political beauty pageant until now. even with that said, i am still skeptical--forever will be--and i reserve my right to withdraw my enthusiasm at the drop of a hat...or a bald-face, blatant fucking lie.

in full disclosure, i have never voted. the only reason i know what it looks or smells like within a polling place is because i always accompanied my parents to vote in my youth, and because i volunteered at our local polling station during high school. believe me, i have been called all sorts of things for this, including hypocrit, bad citizen, just another complainer, and shithead...i am not even sure that last one had anything to do with my not having ever voted. but, i have always maintained that it is my right to NOT vote. of course it is. no one can force me to do anything.

for those detractors who tell me that i cannot complain BECAUSE i do not vote, i have one thing to say: yes, i can. i can complain about anything i fucking want to, especially the current state of politics in this country. even moreso, i choose to mount a complaint with one of the most powerful things i have: my vote. let's put it another way. you are telling me that i cannot aptly comment on the political situation in this country because i refuse to choose between two charlatans who, once elected, back out on their promises like a prom date who finds out the girl he coaxed into fucking him in the limo is now knocked up?

i can completely understand the opinion that denounces any non-voters, for i am not trying to say that those who do vote, even when the candidates are not ideal, are not enlightened. that shit is annoying and should be saved for dread-locked hippies who judge you while handing out flyers on the street...we can all join in on the universal desire to smash their shins with a bat and tell them to get the fuck out of our faces with their tripe.

but give me a fucking break! instead, look at my decision like a boycott. if wal-mart treats its employees like shit or if softsoap tests on animals, what do you do, ever smart and virtuous consumer? you DO NOT buy their products. if you find that the diner in your neighborhood is not paying its busboys (who happen to be three-fourths hispanic) a reasonable wage, do you eat there? fuck no!!!! you're a responsible and worldly New York Times-reading urbanite.

so, i choose to boycott the two party system in this country. some say that not voting does not work because i am, at the end of the day, just forfeiting my voice in favor of those who oppose my view. well, the same contention is levied against boycotts and embargoes and other forms of protest. just because you do not choose to buy there does not mean others will not. does that make you any less relevant? why, of course not. but, why are those methods acceptable forms of dissention and the former not?

so, get off my back about not voting. perhaps this year i will. i am actually inspired by a candidate who is not a carpetbagger or a curmudgeoned fairweather politico...oh, wait that describes clinton and mccain, both (and for the record, "hope" is never a platitude, you two fear-mongering beasts...i hope you both end up in the darkness of your own rhetoric without a torch). let's face it, the two party system is fucking broken and it does not represent anyone, let alone the typical american. fuck the pandering and the rhetoric. i am not going to vote for, as so many put it, the "lesser of two evils" because the world is not black or white, and i don't want ANY evil in a position of power. i'd rather vote for the fucking beagle...

almost worth moving to LA for

my god I want one of these so bad right now. A bacon-wrapped hot dog, poblano chile, mayo...wow.

But, alas, the days of the bacon-wrapped hot dog are waning, due to nanny-state bullshit from the people's republic of cahleeforneeya:

"She would love to sell bacon-wrapped hot dogs — trust her — but a trip last year to the women's county jail, a trip she says officials orchestrated to "make an example" of her, finally pushed her to give up the bacon and illegal grilling device she used for so long. Instead, she prepares dogs the only way the county Environmental Health Department currently allows, by boiling or steaming. Not grilling. And grilling is the only way to make a classic L.A. bacon-wrapped hot dog."