Wednesday, March 19, 2008

africa, still? yes, still.


This is not about current events in Africa. But after doing some browsing for a separate project, I came across a story on Liberia and its fighters (and by fighters I mean child soldiers/war criminals). I looked around a bit, and it turns out these guys have totally awesome names, which seem to consist of just stringing together the two or three most intimidating words they knew. It somewhat reminded me of a dog I met whose owners had allowed their young daughter to name it. She chose "Matilda Princess Volcano." Sweet. Here are some of the best of the Liberians, in descending order of rank:

General Butt Naked
General Peanut Butter
General War Boss
General War Boss III (logically I guess there is a War Boss II, but then again its Africa)
General Kill the Bitch
General Murder
General Killer
General Rambo
General Housebreaker
General No-mother-no-father
General Fuck-me-quick
General Share Blood
General Babykiller
Brigadier Bomb Blast
Colonel Action
Colonel Bloodshed
Colonel Cambodia
Commander Bullet (must be a navy man)
Major Cut Throat
Captain War Face
Captain Mission Impossible
Captain Backblast
Captain Cut Hands
Captain Bonus
Sergeant Burn House
Commando Around-the-world

Ladies got into the game too:

Queen Cut Hands (she was not the wife of Captain Cut Hands, apparently its a common name, like Smith or Jones)

Debate your favorites and add more in the comments!!!

4 comments:

Danny said...

They look strangely like names of members of the Wu-Tang Clan... keep in mind that I'm talking about extended crew here, not the core members.

Maulana Dan Monday said...

good point, danny...or they look suspiciously like names that ODB was considering before his untimely demise.

but, i think you forgot:

Captain 19-0 New England Patriots T-Shirt

Major Ringworm Foot

General Get Me Out of This Godforesaken Hell Hole

Colonel Malaria

Major Hash Makes Children Invincible to Bullets

General One-Hand (only applicable for RUF soldiers)

Captain Hakeem Olajuwon Jersey

Maulana Dan Monday said...

as for me: i am Colonel Insensitive

jonathon said...

Nice Post This article is very helpful for me please don't stop posting this type of article. I am glad that i have read your article this very interesting and helpful. Tariq St. Patrick Power Book II Ghost Maroon Tracksuit